GeePig Talks Business

The Loan Shark

2008-07-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

Loan Shark? The fat cat

Be a merchant 'o' money, beat the banks at their own game, and beat up those people who fail to pay on time. If you want an excuse to play it rough, send the boyz round, and still have time for tea with the mayor, then this could be your niche.

Once you have an amount of cash lying around waiting for some investment project, become a people person and invest it in people struggling to get ahead. Help them to struggle! Every city needs one, you can justifiably make cash without caring for morals as cities always have stacks of poor people struggling to make ends meet. Find out what the banks are offering and undercut them. If the banks are offering around 5% interest on loans per year - go in at 4% as a starting loan rate, you can always increase it later. If you structure the loan repayments such that the first to be repaid is the interest and only when that is all paid off do they actually repay the loan itself then if they default early they still have all, or most off, the actual loan to repay. Confused? Well, play around with some numbers and if it still does not make sense then maybe you should consider drugs, 'security services' or 'escort services' as your line in thuggery.

Typical loans you can arrange include those to buy a shop, for stock to start a business, or as a mortgage for properties. And if they already have a loan or two, and maybe have a lot run up on their credit cards then it is time for you to step in with that consolidation loan where you pay off their loans now and they have a loan to pay you back.

So, what if they stop paying? Well, the other part of a loan is the collateral. Now, that is a good word to include in your spiel. Basically, if they fail to make a repayment then you need a way to get the cash back, legally or otherwise. Collateral could be the deeds to their property, or a clause in the contract forcing them to sell something to raise money to pay you (maybe their whole business). An unwritten clause may (fail to) mention broken limbs.

For success, you need to understand when you should be legal and when illegal, and to remember that one person's illegality is another's immorality. The former is punishable in this life, the latter in whatever follows. Miss one payment, did you; sorry but now you have to repay everything. Can't do that? Well take out this consolidating loan! Only 13% over 300 months.

The Charity

2008-07-05T07:58:00.001-07:00

Making the most of misery

Every city should have one. You make donations, and the charity buys the goods it needs off you. Well, you weren’t about to give the money away for no return, were you?

Charities are a relatively little explored part of society, and yet they are so important. I mean, who is paying for the free or cheap hospitalization of the poor? If you get involved or, better still, set one up, then you get on the board, get to meet important people - and the seat on one board is merely a stepping stone to the next, to mix metaphors.

A hospital charity needs someone to build the hospital (your building company supplied by your building supplies supplier), bandages and medicines (supplied by your medical company) and staffed by trained people from various educational institutions (on whose board you sit, or will soon sit). Good, isn’t it! Before you know it, you will be mayor of your city and making more money than you need to count.

The Shop Owner

2008-07-05T07:57:00.001-07:00

General Supplies? Knowing your customers - personally!

You want to be a vendor? Why not, you get to wear a nice apron; People voluntarily come to you with their money and ask you for your advice.

One market stall is only going to keep you in cheap clothes, one shop may allow you a posh set of clothes to go out in. To be rich you are going to have to work a lot harder. The key stages are:

· Is there a demand

· Can I afford premises in the right part of town

· Can I get supplies at the right price, quality and quantity

· Do I know what I am doing?

Only 4 yeses will do.

Being a vendor makes for an easy start, and shop conversions are easy and fun. They take a lot of work to generate a little income unless you are selling something that is really in demand. The problem is that few people understand what is in demand by enough people and combine it with a supply point that is where people want to buy with the actual goods at the right price. Hence most shops either fail or just scrape along.

Summary Time

2008-07-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

Congratulations, you have made it to the end! OK, it's been a long trip and now you are probably wondering what you read earlier or what on earth you are doing here. Well, for one night only, here is a summary of the hints and rules:

Hint 1: Ask your opponent what they want (to do)

Hint 2: Helping others helps you to develop and succeed

Hint 3: Think how to apply your skills outside of business

Rule 1: Get that capital.

Rule 2: Muscle in only when you have the muscle.

Rule 3: Check out the local opportunities.

Rule 4: Don’t spend, ever. Invest!

Rule 5: Keep stock for as short a time as possible.

Rule 6: Pay suppliers as late as possible.

Rule 7: It is essential to plan your transport system as part of your budget.

Rule 8: Plan how long it will take to sell the goods, plus all storage costs.

Rule 9: Employing people to assist your business must be budgeted for before you start buying.

Rule 10: Budget for the barkeep’s apron as well as the beer he/she sells.

Rule 11: Buy what you need, not what you want.

Rule 12: The first venture must be producing enough profit to cover all the losses the second will make.

Rule 13: Do not wait for the price you want, learn to accept the price you can get.